Friends & Brothers: Part II

I was watching one of my new favorite teeny-bopper dramas when the girls involved began talking about friendship. I have been so blessed in my life to have some of the best friends ever. I think it was God's way of making up for the fact that the rest of my family was kind of a hot mess. I have friends who I have known since I was in kindergarten, and some I have know only a few short years. These women I speak of have made all the difference in my life: Sarah, Julie, Lori, Mich, and Sheri.

Up until recently there would be two other names on that list: Gale and Brianne. My little brother, M, the ultimate disappointment, has successfully created divides in these friendships which cannot be repaired. (You can read all about the drama between Gale and M from last summer in case you've forgotten! It all starts in my post entitled Friends & Brothers from July 2009.)

Well, the drama has now been replicated with B. Despite my hurt and anger from last time, despite the numerous conversations I have had with her and M, they decided to pursue a relationships anyway.

• I don't understand how someone who claims to be one of my best friends would intentionally pursue anything knowing how much it would hurt me and that it already ended on friendship of mine.
• I don't understand what a 30-year-old woman would want with a 24-year-old man-child who doesn't have a job, doesn't have an education, doesn't have any money, has sat in his sister's basement for the past 8 months playing video games, and is leaving for boot camp in 2 months.
• I don't understand how someone who is my friend would pursue a relationship with someone who has hurt me so continually for the last 13 months.

I have been dealing with this since April. Finally, I realized that her behavior, in combination with many other events that have happened over the past year, indicate that I have outgrown this relationship. I made peaces with that and was ready to walk away and never see or speak to her again; the damage is irreparable.

Then, last night, I found out that she's pregnant.

I have to figure out somehow to deal with this wretched person whom I do not want to associate with for the rest of my life. I can't imagine a time when I'll feel ok with her. I can't imagine having to spend holidays with her and M and their spawn. I can't imagine a time when this won't hurt. I have know idea how to reconcile this in my head.