Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Wish List

A long time ago, I heard about "wish boards." Wish boards are bulletin boards, or some other place in your house, where you post things that you want to work on, to come true, or to provide inspiration. An even longer time ago, I had someone tell me that the best way to get what you want in a relationship is to write a list of all the qualities you are looking for. Then put the list in a drawer and don't think about it; your subconscious will do the work for you.




A couple of years ago I decided to combine those two ideas. I made myself a wish board, inspired by something I used to say to an ex-boyfriend ("What about me?!"). On the wish board, one of the things I added was a sealed red envelope. Inside the envelope I had made a list of all the things I wanted in a relationship. I haven't looked at it since I made it several years ago, but, since I'm still single, I think it's safe to say the boyfriend list didn't work. So let's take a look...

  • tall, dark, and handsome
  • great kisser; lots of chemistry
  • makes me feel beautiful and safe
  • unconditional trust; faithful
  • good job, good family, good conversationalist
  • gets along with my friends and family
  • makes me laugh
  • doesn't need a babysitter
  • non-douchebag
  • strong; my emotional and intellectual equal; able to tell me when I'm wrong without being an asshole
  • gives me butterflies
  • is the perfect guy for me

I think that's a pretty good list, but I have a few more things to add:

  • I want him to adore me.
  • I want to be first in his life. I have spent too much time being second place (or third or fourth) to addictions, work, or other people
  • I want to have equally great emotional and physical chemistry. I will no longer sacrifice one for the other.

After spending a good, but somewhat unsatisfying weekend in Glenwood, I though I would revisit my list and see what I had told my subconscious to look for. Since I still agree on all those things I wrote, I guess I just haven't met him yet. My brain keeps trying to fit the guys I already know into this list, much like trying to force a puzzle piece into the wrong spot.

Hopefully this means he is still out there somewhere.

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